May 30 was Bi-Polar awareness day, so I started thinking about it. I reached a conclusion that I feel comfortable with. Of course, this is just my theory as it applies to me, but indulge me…
There is a huge difference between being depressed and being sad.
Since I embarked on my treatment regimen, my life has changed incredibly; my overall behaviour has improved significantly. I no longer experience the incredible highs and lows that I used to.
That said, sometimes, I still feel down. I’ve realized that being sad or unhappy is very different from being depressed.
While there are times that could be classified as depressive, I am more likely to feel sad about things in the past and the impact on my life.
The way I see it, “sad” is not “depressed.”
I have given myself permission to be sad on occasion, but that’s where I’ve decided to draw the line. This is mainly because I realize that being sad is perfectly normal and is a sign that I’m making progress.
I no longer deal with depression because I’ve decided to see BAD moments as SAD moments.
Now that I’ve reached that conclusion, I feel that I can move ahead with my life; learning to accept what has happened in my ‘untreated’ years. This doesn’t mean that I have forgotten them, nor does it mean I’ve forgiven myself, but it definitely gives me direction.
Case in pooint: I enquired about accelerating the payments on my mortgage so that they will be less of a burden and provide me the opportunity to retire relatively comfortably. This required me to create a new budget, both for me and for my company. I am investing in equipment now, while I have a generous income so that it will be paid by the time I’m ready to stop working full-time. (Creating the budget was actually quite liberating and I now feel that I have the tools to stick to it.)
I am going to ramp up my efforts to launch and promote my farm’s YouTube channel with the hopes of monetizing it sooner than later and thus, provide me with a supplemental income stream that I can deposit directly into my RRSP (equivalent to a 401K in the US).
I am actively working to turn my farm into a market garden where I can grow what I need and sell the extra. (I already rent out a portion of the land that I don’t use at the moment.)
My freeze dryer will be paid off in May.
My eye surgery will be paid off in January 2024.
My car is paid for, but still has occasional repairs and maintenance.
I repair most of the farm machinery myself.
I do my own home renovations; slowly and as I can afford it.
I put money aside every month for my annual vacation to the Dominican Republic.
I put money aside every month in my TFSA (equivalent to the ROTH IRA in the US).
I put money in my RRSP every month to lower my tax burden and build some retirement savings.
I’m playing the long (money) game now instead of making rash and impulsive decisions.
It’s a process, but one I follow with pleasure. I have created structure in my life.
I am happy.
Until next time.
_____________________________________________________________________
I’ve launched a YouTube channel for the homestead that you can find at: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCYhZ1s_14TaPZvGkd6qiauA
If you could, please stop in, view the video, select ‘Like,’ subscribe, and share the link. These things will really help the channel get off the ground.
Please visit my farm’s Facebook page for more: https://www.facebook.com/BlueGypsyHomestead